I know, I know... I'm a bit slack in keeping this blog active, in my defence though I have been insanely busy! For 40 weeks after returning from Thailand I've been booked solid every weekend which included further trips to Wales, Scotland, Ireland, Amsterdam, back to Hong Kong, several trips from Bournemouth to Leeds, Manchester & Liverpool to Exeter & Torquay, Big gigs for Jongleurs on the Road, little gigs at pubs in towns so small even the locals didn't know they lived there... (Cornwall)....
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Having returned from my most recent jaunt overseas, I took a little to reflect. I had been booked to head back to Hong Kong to perform a string of three shows followed with shows in Thailand, one in Phuket and two more in Bangkok. It was all very exciting with the prospect of 5 star hotels free meals and drinks, upgrades to premium economy. What I was not aware of at the time was that Thailand was on the brink of nationwide disaster! We had heard news reports of course about flooding in Thail...
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'Being the compere on a comedy night fills many seasoned performers with trepidation. And rightly so – it’s a thankless, sometimes shitty, job. You are the canary in the mine, the very frontline in the battle between audience and comedian. You have to be likeable, create rapport with the crowd, and then, just as you have them where you want them, you have to humbly leave the stage for another act to benefit from your hard work. 

You have to keep the night flowing, occasionally mop up blood...
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Ok, so just over a year in country and I've secured my first weekend gig as the headline act for a major club chain - Jongleurs. R David MC, Trevor Crook opening with Kai Humphries in the middle section. Birmingham Jongleurs runs out of Oceana club on Hurst street and has played host to a variety of live entertainment since the early seventies. Mostly music gigs but now is running spoken word shows. This presents some problems as anyone who has ever tried to produce a comedy gig in a music ve...
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I don't know how many times I've seen people working the open mike circuit, in some cases for a number of years who are still stuck doing open mike gigs and working for nothing. The big question being that they don't know how to get paying gigs, bookers will only offer them open mike spots, in some cases they only get booked because they have a car and are willing to drive the acts who will be getting paid for performing. The simple answer is this;

STOP DOING OPEN MIKE SPOTS!

Only YOU can make ...
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I've been a working paid professional in the comedy industry for a while now, and with moving to a new country, one does have to deal with starting from scratch (albeit with a boat load of experience behind you). When I came to the UK it was to. slake a my passion to learn more and experience more so that I could be a better comic. I had seen international acts travel to NZ for the comedy festival and most if not all were amazing. This lead me to believe that ALL acts from those respective co...
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So this is it… Edinburgh Festival! A chill of anticipation grips my spine. Initial costings to put the show on that I want to perform at just over £8,000. Which would financially negate the last year of work. A daunting prospect for one’s first time in Edinburgh, having not seen a single venue, or know where that venue was in the city.

Thus a more prudent approach is warranted. Yes, go to Edinburgh, see as many shows as possible in as many different venues as possible. Get a feel for how ...

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Having now had an opportunity to reflect upon the nature of some recent shows in Hong Kong, I can confirm that it wasn't just me and the heady mix of alcohol at 36,000 feet combined with jet lag and diclofenac, the shows there were truly amazing. Why? good question. Having done a few ex pat gigs now, I can see why. English speaking peoples in a non english speaking country are literally starved for entertainment, when a show is announced they all come from near and far literally salivating at...
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So once again, I see that I have been really bloody slack in keeping this thing updated. However, I suppose it just gives me more to write about (?). In any case, things have been progressing and progressing well. I'm no longer MC in Lanzarote, turned out to be a short run as permanent MC of a bi monthly gig which quickly became a tri-monthly gig and now they may be running their last comedy gig. However, I suspect that I may not be on the bill due to telling off a woman in the crowd during t...
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I have always been of the opinion that if you are going to be an 'Entertainer' you should do your best to look like an entertainer. Having seen a massive amount of live stand up on the box over here, it was pretty clear that the successful comics, who are working in regular TV gigs all chose to be decked out in the classic suit, some were suit and tie, others, suit and no tie. I would be the only comic sporting a suit with matching tie / pocket square or a tuxedo, no other comics appear to be...
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WHEW! 
Hello my lovelies! I do sincerely apologise for not dragging my backside back here sooner, I know it has been a while since I updated my blog. But I'm here now and finally have a little time to scratch and tell you all about it!

Life has become very busy, you may recall I was being chased by another agent to sign with them, cutting a long story short, that didn't work out due to conflicts of interest between other parties, party to the party that I bring whenever I take to the stage. Par...
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It's getting much colder now, but still not nearly as cold as I've felt in NZ during the winter months. Looking forward to wearing my very first winter coat with gloves and scarf, possibly even my "Christies" fedora?? Not sure if Ive told you the story of the fedora, I've always wanted one, some budget models found were £30 but were thin and didn't hold their shape very well and ultimately would have contributed to make me look like a scruffy bucket of knickers, however, after a bit of resea...
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I have to admit, Ive never been to a pop music festival - no not even big day out, none of the BDO's that have ever been, I have ever attended. Rewind festival was positively overflowing with fans in their late 30's & 40's all of whom seemed to have the lyrics of every song hard coded into their DNA - stalls sold pink & purple leg warmers, coloured hair spray and hair gels, leather pilots helmets, string vests...and people were buying them - I bought a wrestling mask... mostly because I'd nev...
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Still working and now getting very close to my goal of £500 p/week. Currently earning between £250 & £350 p/week with surprising regularity, this week for instance will be £400 and next week will be £550. In general pretty happy with how the shows have been going, since the last show I blogged about in Reading I have managed to swing performances at The Old Rope, Thistle Hotel (NEVER AGAIN!), The Comedy Store, Highlight Camden, Up The Creek, Bournemouth - AWESOME never heard a crowd chan...
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The comedy basement is a new venue just off the main street of Reading at 8 Queen Victoria Street. This is a brand spanking new venue. It's downstairs (as the name implies) from the Cosmopolitan Bar & Bistro - who incidentally do a pretty good Americano Coffee. The venue itself is quite small, seating between 30 & 40 people. The room is "L" shaped with the stage sited in the corner providing good lines of sight to the entire room. A small portable bar is at the back of the room by the main e...
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Ok, for any comics contemplating coming over to England, here's some advice;

1/- Definitely get in touch with Geoff Whiting of Mirth Control to assist in organising gigs PRIOR to your arrival. You can do so by emailing geoff@mirthcontrol.org this is so that you can have some paid gigs from the moment you arrive. Even if they're small paying gigs, they are paying gigs

2/- Try to avoid doing open spots or free gigs under the guise of "showcasing" or so other promoters/bookers can see you do your ...
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Thanks England, you have cured me of my misguided belief in "Global Warming" - Al Gore never visited Edinburgh.

I'm a big dude, I prefer seats on the tube that have no arms (I call them Thalidomide seats), so I can fit my hips in, invariably though the tube gets crowded and some fucker will come and sit next to me, which is why I like having porn video's on my phone. At least thats what I told my my girlfriend.

England; Home of the B.O.G.O.F!! "Buy One Get One Free!" We don't have that back hom...
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So you will be aware of the general plan - arrive in UK, get onstage, make some £'s

Which has so far been achieved, however, what I hadn't taken into account was that the world cup was on and England were in the running, as a result, many of the regular clubs cancelled a whole heap of shows which left a huge amount of comics without a pot in which to piss. Since England dropped out of the running, shows have been coming back online but there is now a whole bunch of established known comics wh...
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So I'm booked to perform with Jason Kavan, Paul Redwood & Taylor Glenn in Newquay & Torquay, towns (possibly cities) some 200 odd MILES away from London, none of these guys, I have ever met before, and jason has put his hand up to drive from London to the gigs in exchange for a little gas money. So a plan is forged!

My mission... should I decide to accept it is to make my way to Walthamstow Central Station by 130pm on Friday afternoon to liaise with Jason Kavan and journey with him to pick up ...
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Ok... if you read the dates - you know Ive cheated and Ive only just updated whats happened today, but there is a reason! I am without my computer, and have been for sometime. Why? Because I have quite literally sold everything I own in order to move to London England. (If you've been reading the blog you knew this already!)
So here I am! Jon Keyes gave me his magic number, I used it coming through customs and here I am until September 1st, legally entitled to work in England as a comedian! Ge...
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The festival is over! Having been put in the position of not being able to get into one of the venues that I applied for, I was told to find another venue to creep into. One has to wonder what sort of state we manage to get ourselves into where so many slots are taken up with international comedians coming in to do the NZ festival that all of a sudden our own home grown comics are left with out the proverbial pot in which they may piss!
I "get" that international acts attract audiences to the ...
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I wondered what that strange sensation was... this constant prickling on the back of my neck, the night sweats, the palpitations I'd initially dismissed as an "E" flashback.... but no, it's just the prospect of the 2010 comedy festival looming ever closer. Will the show concept work, will people come (and pay for the privilege?). With so much going on it's kind of "just one more thing..."
Good news is I seem to have found a potential sponsor in Jon Keyes who assures me that all I need is a mag...
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as everyone in New Zealand knows, you aren't anything in this country until you've made it overseas first. Flight of the Conchords performed here for years and were'nt formally recognised by the general NZ public until they gained success overseas. Hell, I even heard a story that they had taken their idea for a TV series to a broadcasting company over here and were rejected, outright! Because the broadcasters idea of comedy included hot women with big hair and bright red lipstick dressed only...
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