as everyone in New Zealand knows, you aren't anything in this country until you've made it overseas first. Flight of the Conchords performed here for years and were'nt formally recognised by the general NZ public until they gained success overseas. Hell, I even heard a story that they had taken their idea for a TV series to a broadcasting company over here and were rejected, outright! Because the broadcasters idea of comedy included hot women with big hair and bright red lipstick dressed only in lingerie chasing people through public streets to instrumental soundtracks, zany sound effects and laugh tracks hard coded into "the funny".
There has been a paradigm shift lately, I've seen it. People are slowly graduating from the Benny Hill school of comedy to something a little more sophisticated & subtle. This migration of thought, this societal coming of age, has lead me to believe that I too must grow and expand my comedic abilities (rather than just my waistline). But what does one do to get better at being funny? If you wanted to learn something, you'd go to school, ask people who appeared to have learned something you didn't know. Quiz them about what they thought they did right and what they did wrong so you could avoid the pitfalls others had fallen into. But if you wanted to learn more about the craft involved with being a comedian... it makes sense that you'd go to where arguably some of the best comedians in the world are and talk to them?
So I've resolved to travel to London, England and try to foot it with those who simply ooze comedy. Maybe I'll learn something I didn't know before, maybe I'll return home to NZ a broken man. It doesn't really matter. Even being broken can be funny... Steven Wright's proved that year in year out! But I don't want to be another Steven Wright, or an Eddie Izzard or Daniel Kitson. I don't want to be a Bill Hicks clone or a Woody Allen wannabee, I want this incarnation of me to be the first Andre King. Therein lies the rub... I want to be the best "Andre King" I can be but it's kind of like doing "nothing". How do you know when you're done? It appears as if being the best Andre King may be a lifelong endeavour. Then again.... what else have I got to do with my time? So Im going to give it a go.

First step is a work visa. I have no ancestral ties to Englad or Europe, both sets of my grandparents were a minimu of 3rd Generation kiwi's. So no chance of an ancestral visa... hmmm... entertainers visa! Ahh, but you're only allowed to travel on that visa if you have been invited to a specific governmentally recognised event.... and you're not allowed to be paid (WTF?!) whats the point of that? So I guess Im stuck with the new tier system... Highly skilled migrant ... minimum masters degree.... counts me out, tier 2.... student... nope.... could get a job as a private investigator or a credit controller or a bodyguard... oh hang on... whats that fine print... your work visa only allows you to work as what you have applied for and nothing else... oh crud.

Looks like I need a sponsor, but is there a list of sponsors with an A rating? NO!

God damn it! I am currently researching UK museums to see if I can find any that still have NZ shrunken Heads on display. If I can prove that those heads are related and have been in the country for an extended period of time... maybe I can claim a "Right to Abode"!?

More to follow;